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I’m going to make a real attempt at National Novel Writing Month. I thought about blogging the experience, probably because I was subconsciously aware of what a wonderful excuse it would be to become distracted by the analysis… Follow me on Twitter. I hereby resolve henceforth to spend no more than 140 characters at a time in metawriting. I expect the experience to be one hell of a mental challenge. The sheer volume of conscious idea generation ahead is a bit intimidating. Wish me luck. I’m pretty beat from a weird week so far. I know it’s hectic when I’m so busy that i don’t even notice a day is gone and I’ve hardly uttered a word, or even more strangely, written one. I’m looking forward to next week, in as much as I can brush the cobwebs out of my skull and rediscover being organized, for as long as that lasts. Weeks like this I don’t even realize the passing of time, the thundering roar of silence can be deafening, and numbing. I’ve hit the work outs even harder, pushing 250lbs on the shoulder press, several times in a row. Oh, I’m feeling it today, but it was worth it. I’m not sure if the new limit was hit out of frustration or boredom, but either way it’s a nice feeling to max out a machine. It would pale in comparison to the satisfaction of a good night with friends, but hey, middle of the week, strange work schedule, you take what you can get. I’m already working on plans and schemes for the day, and have some straightening up to do around here. My daughters morning was disrupted, and let me tell you, the girl likes her couch time with her dad. I’ll be making up for this week for a while. ;) I hope everyone out there is having a nice week, or at least is finding something nice in an otherwise unpleasant week. Finding that thing that pushes one more rep, a smile, warmth in your heart to fire you up, whatever it takes to get you through the days… The most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well. To all good things there comes an end. True. And all bad. But for those that we would like to have last (friendships, loves, life, tasty meals…you get my drift) we wish that they would last longer. Obviously good health will help you live longer, providing you don’t get hit by an errant fruit truck. The key to good health, as far as I can tell, has a few key components: Good diet, at least moderate exercise, support structure, genetics, and yes, some luck. In other words, nobody does it alone. You have to eat things that are good for you, ignore the stupid “some other study will show it kills you” nonsense, and moderate your quantities. you need friends. Mental health is every bit as important. Sure we’ve all known some mean old codger that lived way to long, seemingly living to spread his or her unhappiness, but those are the exception, not the rule. And no, you may NOT refer to ME as the mean old codger. Exercise I harp on quite a lot here, and for good reason: fighting the fragility of old age doesn’t come from a sedentary life style. Even if all you do is walk hard, you need to keep your body fit. Fuel it right, but work it, too. And try to find things that make you happy. Got a friend that you just love, but don’t seem to have any time for? Make that time. I’ve remarked that a garden doesnt grow on the memory of sunshine and water. Nor do friendships remain because you remember to appreciate your friends once every 18 months or so. In the same way that to keep your body healthy you have to feed it good, whole foods and clean water often, your relationships need nurturing too. And doing it not only keeps the friendship going, it strengthens you as a person. Go on a girls night out, a guys night out, a couples dinner, or just hang out with friends watching a movie and enjoying a few laughs. it will be time well spent. “True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.” “Be slow to fall into friendship; but when thou art in, continue firm and constant.” The start of another great week (Or so I hope). Like everyone else, I have a lot going on during any given day (note: not when avoidable). The work week, studying, children, housework, exercise, etc., etc., and all the other unmentioned events that tend to bowl one over like a tsunami, pulling us under until you somehow pull your head out from under the water and think “crap, I forgot to …(fill in the blank here with your own special item)”. It happens. Few are the things that cause me to get all stirred up over. I make lists, I check off lists, I discover things that were not even put on the list, but that should have been. Either way, they went un-done. Half the time I discover items that would never have been on MY list, but somehow became mine to do anyway. And yet, here I sit, writing. I got the kids off to school, and then home to get showered and shaved, and thought “hmm…I can write for a few minutes”, and so here I am, sneaking it in to my day, giving up this 15 minutes for what gives me pleasure. I’m well aware of the finite nature of time: you have what you have, and the time I use here is time I don’t have for any number of other odd items, but you know, I prioritized this over the others, and so here I am. Life is like that. Using your time for what matters to you. Work, school, family, all tend to be on the top three. Most people have more time wasted in their week than they would admit too, or have a dozen or so shovel-ready rationalizations for why they didn’t get any time to do something that they wanted to, when the truth is that really they didn’t use a lot of their time wisely, and so things got thrown out. You missed time to talk to a friend, skipped a meal, blew off an item because you “ran out of time”. Don’t get me wrong, I schedule myself pretty tightly, and I still screw something up, or miss a chance, because i get caught up in something that I didn’t mean to, or want to, and just didn’t realize it until it was too late. But I’m conscious of this, and I don’t make excuses for it to myself. (now to others, that may be a cat of a different color). The final product is this: What did I do with my time? Was I late when I didn’t have to be? Did I forget somebody who needed me? Did I meet the deadlines that I have to meet, or just want to meet? Why? Whatever reason you have for the external world, be honest with yourself when you evaluate these things. Sure, some things are out of your hands, regardless of how much careful planning you do, or tightly scheduled you make them, but some aren’t. Figure these things out, rediscover your self-discipline, or at least realize that sometimes we sabotage ourselves or our relationships or duties because we want to, and be prepared to take the heat. Or to reap the rewards…because sometimes, managing these things well pay off too. It’s not enough to be busy, so are the ants. The question is, what are we busy about? Pre-dawn is my favorite time of day. It’s quiet, dark, and I can usually enjoy my coffee in peace. Usually. I do have a son with the same innate propensity for early rising as his father. Most mornings, if I’m going to go for a run, I can get my coffee in me and then be on the road before the sun is even coming up, and then not only enjoy the cool, dark streets for myself, but i can watch the sun rise as I engage in this lonely toil, adding splendor to the sweat, providing beauty and majesty to my solitary pursuit. You just can’t beat it. Not everyone feels the need to pound the pavement for exercise, but anyone fortunate enough to be awake as this daily art display takes place can enjoy it. I may be running a little late to get the best of it this morning, and thats a shame, but the fact that I can’t get to it every morning just helps me to appreciate it more when i do get to see it. A lot of people don’t care for seeing a sunrise, or set, some find beauty in other things; a running river, a childs laugh, or some other simple, natural occurrence. Or nothing at all. I can’t help but feel badly for them, appreciation for the natural wonders can put a smile on your face when you might otherwise not have had one. For now, I’ll finish my coffee, don my shorts and running shoes, start my breathless exertions and enjoy the light show. I hope anyone reading this finds a pleasant way to start their day, too. Opportunities are like sunrises. If you wait too long, you miss them. William Arthur Ward Okay, okay, I admit, “TGIF” is overplayed, but there’s a good reason for it: Weekends are great. After 5 days of the daily grind, it’s nice to have a little time to recharge. Oh sure, there will be a large contingent of people saying “I wind up working around the house as much as I do at work”, with a tone that makes Eeyore sound cheerful, but you know what? They’re full of it. And you know by “it” I mean it starts with “sh”. I feel like the worst day I’ve had working around the house is still better than the best day I’ve had at work in a while. Don’t get me wrong, if you’re a stay-at-home parent, I do realize that an outside job would be the only break you get, as most people in that position find that the “working” other half comes home and does jack-all, leaving them with a 24/7 job, instead of a regular 40. but thats an entirely different post, one that I’m willing to bet none of those brave souls would dare touch on publicly. Or here. ;) No, I’m talking about a weekend where I can take my kids to Toys R Us for Geoffrey the Giraffes birthday party, toil around the house at my own pace, breaking when I please, enjoying a cold beer or glass of wine in the afternoon, and then eating dinner when i feel ready, and enjoying a movie or a book, or neither, should I so choose. All of these things lend themselves to the mental breaking away from the structure of work, the needfulness of the toil there. Personally, I like to plan the occasional weekend with no plans. None. Wake up when I wake up, coffee, a run, or maybe just some TV and going where the day takes me. Not that it ever works out that way, but it’s my goal. Drinks with friends would be nice. Or whatever it is that floats your boat. My boat just happens to be pretty darned buoyant, and so I can float it whenever. So no complaining if you’ve got homework, or studying, or kids projects. Do them early, waste no time, and that way you don’t find yourself struggling at the last second, artificially adding pressure to some time that you can use to chill out. And stand your ground on it. One thing that I’ve discovered is that if you’re waiting on anyone else to provide you with the schedule, companionship or happiness that a weekend can give you, you’ll probably die of old age before it ever happens. Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing. Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 – 1882), I’ve recently gotten a couple of nights of decent rest, powered by benedryl. I have to say that when it comes to sleep, most of us are like crack addicts craving a fix, and will turn to anything to get it. (although from what I understand, crack would NOT help you there). But I won’t, not often. I did it twice this week, but it will likely be a few weeks before I do it again. Oh, there were no problems, issues, no concern about addictions, I just don’t like taking pills or drinks to make me do something. Could be that the thought of anything “making me” do something causes immediate psychological push back. I’m naturally petulant…don’t make me do anything. ask me nicely. ;) Still…the feeling of being well rested is a good one. My attitude is better, my outlook, my willingness to take on bigger things, and my ability to cope with the unmitigated bull that life can hurl at you like monkeys in the zoo hurling handfulls of feces. Yep, i feel good today. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging: I know some people that cannot sleep at all, drugs or not, and several that can get to sleep only with the chemical enhancements. I don’t think poorly of them, especially after a few nights of waking up to a sound no louder than a fly scratching his pits. No, I might be a wee bit envious, particularly of those who just lay down and out they go. Exercise helps weary my body, but let me tell you, I don’t slack of there for even a day. Even on days when i’m not working out, I’m getting plenty of work out of my body. It’s the mind that i can’t put to rest. I slept really restfully, really hard maybe a year, year and a half ago, but that sleep has intentionally evaded me ever since, and I can’t seem to get it to come back to me. I’d beg, but really, there’s no dignity in begging, and I still have THAT at least, even if I don’t have my sleep. So for the present, I work on wearing my body out, working my mind, relaxation techniques, reading, and yes, occasionally a sleep aid. A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book. ~Irish Proverb We are often moved in to experiences that we would not have personally chosen, but have no choice but to go in to them. We can choose to be fearful, or resigned, or sad, or force ourselves in to an artificial cheerfulness that wreaks of insincerity. But we will go in. Life moves forward. Life is a dynamic event, not static, nothing stays the same, and so we go or we stay in place and die. I won’t pretend for a second that I like every single event or move that comes my way, some of them have been down right bad, but go I will. Along the way, I plant the seeds of friendship, share some laughter, occasionally listen to my peers voice their own opinions about the way things are, and we all have a view of how things ought to be. And I plan. I look at what I have to do, what is required of me, and evaluate how it will work with my own long-term plans. I change my plans as necessary, with the goal remaining the same. I don’t go out and sell buy-in, I don’t rage against the machine, I don’t fight unnecessary fights, but I do what I feel must be done to keep my integrity intact, and my goals attainable. I neither crave nor expect cooperation and praise. Oh sure, support would be nice, but all things considered, other people have their own agendas, and base almost all of their viewpoints solely on their own experiences and desires, and many are simply not germane to my life or life-goals. One does not become an expert on all children by simply raising their own, and one cannot be a business guru just because they’ve had a job. So we all move on to our own pace, facing our own fates based on our own choices. And I am not an expert on any life but my own. So I go forward, not blindly, but still unable to see the future, the past my guidebook, my experiences my teacher, my education my reason and goal and hope-chest of tomorrow. These days I find myself more and more hesitant to discuss my plans or daily events with others, because each sentence seems to bring judgement, criticism, or recrimination, and fear of those things can make one extremely reticent to converse freely about whats on ones mind. Do you remember the last time you spoke freely to the person you talk most to, not filtering each thought, feeling, or anecdote thoroughly? It gets harder as you get older to know when you are contributing, and when you are intruding. Walls seem to shift, expectations seem slippery, and relationships all tend to grow or shrink very fluidly. It doesn’t stop my “doing”, but it can greatly influence who I’m doing it with. I still consider the feelings of others very important, but even that tends to be based on how important they seem to think my feelings are. The good news is that list gets shorter ever day, it seems, as a lot of people show you exactly how much you mean to them by only talking to you a couple of times a month, or not at all, or they talk to you frequently enough that you know where you stand with them. For my part, it’s difficult for me to imagine anyone having to guess how I feel about them…but I know that none of us communicate nearly as clearly as we think we do, and I am not an exception. so think, plan, be a part, work with people, especially people that mean something to you, and grow. Grow as a friend, a lover, a spouse, a parent, a professional. Question your motives, but if you question the motives of others, try to give them the chance to show you what they mean before you judge, or snap at them, or get your feelings too bent out of shape. “If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.” – 18. Conclusion, Walden, Henry David Thoreau A fairly interesting phenomenon, which I’m sure that there will be no shortage of nay-sayers to this, is that people tend to eat how they live. This shouldn’t come as a huge surprise, and a lot of people will realize how true it is for them as they read. A person who eats fast food, eats on the run, and only snacks at home, tends to be this same way in many other aspects of their life. The same is true with the person who carefully plans a meal, buys the ingredients with deliberation, prepares the meal by hand, and then consumes it at a table, savoring each bite, washing it down with a drink that compliments the flavors of the food. And there are those who live in between the extremes. I myself eat a very spartan diet for the most part, simple high-fiber cereal, coffee for breakfast, the rest of the day with yogurt, fruit and protein supplements, with a small meal at the end of the day, except for on weekends, when I have the time to prepare and plan, cook and eat and enjoy a real meal. I can enjoy a pizza with beer, or a hand-made burger. If I’m going to be rushed through a meal, I’d just as soon skip it. Atmosphere is important. Urgency and loud noise are distractions, and it diminishes the enjoyment of eating to the point where I’d rather just not be involved. Those who know how to eat, tend to know how to live. If what you put in you is nothing more than an afterthought, then you often reap just those rewards. Life moves pretty fast, and for some people this means that during the busy time of their week, they make do, but they know how to look forward to a good meal, well prepared by their own hands or the hands of a knowledgeable cook. I eat a lot. Most of the time, once every couple of hours, just enough to hold me over. when i can take my time, however, i know how to eat; slowly, with gusto, letting the flavors on my tongue satisfy me. enjoying each bite as if I haven’t eaten in days, knowing that the difference between a meal and sustenance is not just how it fills the hole in your stomach, but how it matches the appetite of the person consuming it. Take some time to figure out what you like. Make the meal, don’t just go buy it. Living life isn’t just how fast you can scramble around, ferrying children from event to event, cramming your own schedule as chock-full as you can get it, leaving yourself exhausted and empty at the end of the week, it’s about remembering to find satisfaction, the true flavors of life. The way you cut your meat reflects the way you live. ~Confucius I am a long-time happy Sprint user and I am getting ready to make the jump to Google Voice. (To digits after the jump.) I have my Android, just before my beloved old Palm died, and I’m completely smitten. Continued… |
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